The aim of this study was to improve understanding of the experiences of adolescents with disabilities concerning meetings that affect their possibility to receive personal assistance in Sweden. Qualitative inductive content analysis was used to describe their experiences. Overall adolescents were found to be reluctant to participate in meetings. Two main approaches could be discerned – taking part and taking part by proxy. The adolescents who took part in meetings tried to adapt their self-presentation to fit with the social workers’ requirements by presenting their worst self, giving requested information, using support and raising their voices. The adolescents who choose to participate by proxy were either being involved or not being involved. Being involved implied involvement before and/or after the meeting. The meaning of participants’ strategies was examined through a social constructivist lens. The results indicate that ‘performing disability’ during the meetings is a prerequisite for obtaining personal assistance. In its current form adolescents’ participation is reduced to tokenism and this raises questions about how to implement a child perspective.